But what do you do if the bully is your boss? You like your job. The money’s good. The benefits are terrific. If only this person would cease invading your head space. If you just swallow it, the bully owns you.
Bullies will pick on nice people and throw their bits and pieces out there, set unrealistic goals and test to see if they can knock you off balance. Their approach usually include blaming their targets for errors, making unreasonable demands, applying made-up rules inconsistently, threatening workers with job loss, regularly using insults and put-downs, discounting accomplishments.
Once a bully has targeted you, he — or she, rarely moves on voluntarily. It’s up to you to shake the bully off. Unfortunately, it’s the bully that usually wins, especially if it is your boss.
Whether you are a seasoned supervisor or just now took on your first managerial position, you should evaluate your skills and make sure you have what it takes to be a good boss.
Every manager needs to figure out the best way to lead and motivate, but a small number of baseline principles will keep you pointed down the right path.
Know Your Role- While you may be the leader of the group, your primary concern must be the group itself. Even if you’re a hands-on manager, remember you’re also there to coach, evaluate, and mentor. Make time to attend to each of these areas regularly.
Understand the Value of Your Employees- You can’t accomplish your team’s objectives by yourself, so work hard to help your employees do their jobs. Remove obstacles, work through glitches, and fight for the resources your employees need to achieve success.
Keep Fairness in Mind- Avoid playing favorites or putting your own ambitions above those of your team, because people are quick to sniff out words and actions that are unfair or self-serving. You’ll still need to make unpopular decisions from time-to-time, but you’ll retain your team’s respect.
Treat Your Employees like Adults- Few things undermine respect and enthusiasm as quickly as being criticized, disciplined, or embarrassed in public. Allow employees the courtesy of carrying out sensitive discussions in private, give them the benefit of the doubt when mistakes occur, and never lose sight of their individual career goals.
Look for Each Member’s Strengths and Leverage them- By utilizing an employee’s natural strengths to their full potential, you’ll not only allow the employee to feel a tremendous sense of value and accomplishment, you’ll also be giving your team the benefit of those skills.
Encourage Success- When an employee accomplishes a tough goal or really pulls out a win, seize on it. Let the rest of the team know about the accomplishment, look for other ways to repeat the success on future projects, and keep an eye out for opportunities that would allow the employee to help mentor others to achieve similar results.
Give Prompt, Direct, and Useful Feedback- Without it, your employees will become frustrated that their efforts aren’t paying off, and you’ll be equally exasperated because your team isn’t reaching its potential.
Focus on Long-term Success- Don’t expect employees to learn new skills, modify behaviors, or improve their performance overnight. Instead, work on small changes here and there, and you’ll find solid long-term results.
Use Mistakes as a Learning Tool- Once you’ve worked with the team to correct an error, shift your focus to helping them understand how the mistake occurred, what signs they missed originally, and how they can avoid repeating the same mistake later.
Realize That You Aren’t an Expert in Everything- If you have a team member with more expertise in a particular area, don’t try to hide or mitigate it-celebrate it! Successful teams combine each member’s specific talents into a high-performing whole, and any ego or insecurities you bring to the table will only undermine that.
Bully bosses come in a variety of styles, but each seeks the same goal: absolute control. They may spout the company line about teamwork and consensus building, but in practice, they’re always looking out for themselves.
They’re not after a win-win; they’re out to win, period. In their view, everyone within the organization is either above or below them. Guess which way the abuse rolls? One of the big problems is that bullies almost always have the authority to fire the target of their abuse.
A good boss shows by doing and knows that employees will follow his lead. Never hesitate to pat your employees on the back, compliment and thank them for their excellent service – if customers are there, letting them know how you value your people can go a long way toward the customers actually having more faith in the services your business provides. When your staff feel valued and appreciated, their job means more to them than simply a paycheck.
I think that being nice takes the same amount of time or less as being a curt, rude, jerk and it gets you treated better in return.The one thing you can count on in life on is change, so you might as well accept the change and be optimistic. I’ve always believe the future is going to be better than the past and I have a role in that. The great thing about human beings, I in particular, am that I can change and can do better every day. When I wake up every day, stay optimistic, find the good and believe the future is better than the past, some days are harder than others, but always find those few things to get you through the tough times.